I recently had a member who had received an email, his name has been removed to protect his identity. Here is how it read:

Attn:(insert name here)

I am the personal/sole executor to the late Mr.Robert Schroeter  hereinafter referred to as my client who worked as an independent oil magnate in my country.He died in a car crash with his immediate family in East London on November 5, 2002..

Mr Robert had Left behind a deposit of 6.8 Million British Pounds Sterling only with a trust company After his death,the Trust company contacted me being his attorney to provide who is right heir to his fortune and this according to them is their policy in sure circumstances.Directors of the company just adopted a resolution and I was mandated to provide his right heir for the release of the fund within a very limited time or forfeit the fund as an abandoned funds.your last name is similar making it easier.

It is unprofitable for his funds to be submitted to the government of this country or some financial institution.Like I said, I require solemn confidentiality on this. Please get in touch with me by my alternative email (hammwrkrichard@hotmail.com) 44-701 113 9692  for better confidentiality and send to me your telephone and fax numbers to enable us discuss further on this transaction. Thanks for your understanding.

Richard Hamm.
solicitor at law.
44-701 113 9692
hammwrkrichard@hotmail.com

What? A “solicitor at law” is using a hotmail account? This was my first tip off that this was an unprofessional email.

I mean, come on. Who would use a free email account for such “private” information? Surely an attorney would know better. Or would he?

Here’s another email I received just today that had me even more puzzled. This is what appears to be an official type email directed to me, and again the user is using AOL. I know there is a paid version of AOL as well, heck I used to pay the 20 or 25 bucks a month for AOL when they first started – but I know better now. When you get your own website, you can easily create your own private email addresses which give you a more professional look IMO (IMO means “In my opinion” which by the way my opinions are covered I believe by the first amendment .

Without further adeau here is that letter:

THE PEABODY LAW FIRM
620 Newport Centre Drive, Ste 1100
Newport Beach, California 92660
E-Mail: peabodylaw@aol.com
Telephone:(949) 200-4610
Facsimile:(949)200-4611

May 29, 2009

Ms. Jill Carpenter
Groton, Massachusetts

Re:     Blog:  First Request for Address to Effect Service of Process: Demand to Cease and Desist:

Dear Ms. Carpenter:

This office represents the interests of Heidi Diaz and Kimkins.  In light of the contents of your recent blogs and web pages, it is apparent that you are familiar with my client(s) as well.  My office is preparing litigation which involves your recent willful conduct and activities aimed at harming or interfering with my client and my client’s ongoing business interests.

As such, demand is hereby made that you immediately cease and desist from making any further derogatory or untoward comments on your blog(s) regarding my client and her business interests.  In the event you fail to comply with this demand immediately, my client has instructed my office to vigorously pursue all avenues of relief for her damages via a court of appropriate jurisdiction.  I further request that you provide your address or an address of your legal counsel authorized to accept service of legal process on your behalf.

In the event you fail to do so, I will promptly issue a subpoena to obtain your personal information from your internet provider.

Please feel free to contact me at your convenience to discuss this matter or in the event you have  any questions or comments.
Sincerely,

THE LAW OFFICE OF TIMOTHY P. PEABODY, ESQ.

By:
Timothy P. Peabody, Esq.

Attorney for:  HEIDI DIAZ dba KIMKINS

kks/TPP
cc: Client File

What is up with an aol email? And even more puzzling and unprofessional, what if I told you this email was not sent to my personal direct email address from the initial sender? It was sent to another party who forwarded it to me! How messed up is that?

Mr. Peabody may as well have just posted it in the comments area here on my blog. Since it had already been shared with another party, there is obviously no reason for me to hide it. Apparently Mr. Peabody didn’t think it was anything to really keep private, so why should I?

Let’s address the rest of this letter while I’m at it. Hold on while I pour myself a drink.

Yum. Ok.

Dear Ms. Carpenter:

Yes, that would be me.

This office represents the interests of Heidi Diaz and Kimkins.

Why? Er I mean, you poor thing. I guess someone has to though. Honestly, I’m happy my good tax dollars are not going to pay for that defense. So thank you Mr. Peabody for offering to take her money and defend her – which by the way if you didn’t know, some of that money she is paying you was probably generated by myself during the time of the Womans World promotion. So in effect my past efforts have been paying you in a round about way. Just think, there wouldn’t be funds to pay you if it weren’t for the marketing efforts of myself and some other affiliates.

In light of the contents of your recent blogs and web pages, it is apparent that you are familiar with my client(s) as well.

You could say I’m a tad bit familiar with the case. Yes, I may have invested a year or so doing my best to help uncover FRAUD. That is what a good citizen does. Not just uncovering the fraud, but making sure others are well aware of it. IMO.

My office is preparing litigation which involves your recent willful conduct and activities aimed at harming or interfering with my client and my client’s ongoing business interests.

Oh! Exciting! An Investigation of some sort? You will need to investigate to prepare for your litigation I’m guessing? Will Kojak and Jessica Lansbury be there? How about that other guy with the trench coat – you know, oh gosh, I forgot his name. Perhaps my commenters will remind me. It’s on the tip of my tongue with some vodka right now so please forgive me.

“willful conduct and activities aimed at harming or interfering with my client and my client’s ongoing business interests.”

Now just hold on a minute there Mr. Peabody – you got it all wrong. My goal here at this blog is to expose online scams. If your client has done nothing wrong then honestly she has nothing to fear. What can little old me do here in Groton Mass? ROFLMBO Ok, I just had to look it up and it does appear that such a place exists. I can tell you with all honesty on both of my grandmothers graves I have not lived there and that is not where I am. But thank you for letting me discover a new place on google maps.

“my client’s ongoing business interests.“

Sorry, but I just had to break that up a bit more. Now Mr. Peabody, how the heck would I know what your clients ongoing business interests are? I don’t live in her house. I don’t even live in the same state. Geeze, if I had that information I would be one powerful person. I guess I’m flattered at the credit you give me.

As such, demand is hereby made that you immediately cease and desist from making any further derogatory or untoward comments on your blog(s) regarding my client and her business interests.

Hmm. So if I say Heidi Diaz did not lose 198 lbs in 11 months and was not the woman in the lawn chair, nor the woman in the red dress, I should be ok, right? But I don’t get why what you’re alluding to is that I can not say something like “she is also the founder of simplechoicesdiet.com” because that might be a business interest? That information is public knowledge. Why am I not allowed to say something like that? Is she wanting to keep that information private for some reason? Because honestly she didn’t do a very good job of it. That information practically landed in my lap – like she was flaunting it. Yes, I can’t tell you how right now for obvious reasons – but that information is avalable all over the web. Heidi Diaz owns simple choices diet, Heidi Diaz owns simple choices diet, Heidi Diaz owns simple choices diet. There. I said it. Big Whoop.

In the event you fail to comply with this demand immediately, my client has instructed my office to vigorously pursue all avenues of relief for her damages via a court of appropriate jurisdiction.

Damages? What? What about my hair falling out? What about my business going down the toilet for promoting a diet where she gave me materials to promote with that she had no right to be sharing – IE Russian bride pictures on banners? What about her false story that she told me I could use – along with anything on the Kimkins site to promote her diet? You want to talk damages? What about the mental anguish I faced when realizing I was promoting a diet that was based on fraud? That I believed that woman had lost weight and kept it off, only to find out it was all a lie? Do you have any clue about my damages? I have been VERY kind to not even address them in full at this time, but if you think I am going to sit here and take your threatening letter, you’d better think again.

I further request that you provide your address or an address of your legal counsel authorized to accept service of legal process on your behalf.

Request all you want Mr. Peabody. Perhaps I will request to get your computer and email correspondence as for all I know you sent this email to a thousand people. An email that should have been sent directly to me as a private and confidential matter. That you sir had knowledge of my websites, and could have simply sent me an email though the proper channels, but chose to send it to a random person who now knows about this.

In the event you fail to do so, I will promptly issue a subpoena to obtain your personal information from your internet provider.

I’ll tell you what. You give me your information, and I’ll give you mine. Maybe.

Please feel free to contact me at your convenience to discuss this matter or in the event you have  any questions or comments.

Here’s a tip to you Mr. Peabody – if that is your real name. Get yourself a real email address to reply to other than that AOL thing you put on your letter. That just doesn’t cut it for me – as you can see from the first scam mail at the top of this post.

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Letter follows:

The FBI/Interpol Coalition on Fraud Investigations
35 Portman Square
London
W1H 6LR
United Kingdom.

ATTENTION:

We recently arrested a group of West African / Ghana, Benin and Nigerian Internet scam Artists in London and we have reasons to believe you have been one of their numerous victims. A thorough search of the computers arrested with the individuals and their confessions during interrogation has revealed to us that you paid certain sums of money to these fraudsters via Western Union and or bank transfer. These individuals have been wrongfully informing alot of people via email on the internet that they have huge sums of money to be transferred from a foreign bank account. Also, they have confessed to loan scams and the Uk National Lottery scam and have been demanding money from innocent people for purported claims of the said money. They operated with a fake Bank and courier and alot of people have fallen victims to them in the past 3 years.

They were arrested 6 months ago when they attempted to defraud an American citizen of $5.2m USD by the FBI/ British Intelligence Unit and the Interpol working together to break the scam ring.

Our Investigation revealed that you paid out some money to these individuals over a period of time. We are happy to inform you that you can now claim back your money as well as your compensation.

We have already initiated proceedings on your behalf with the West African / Nigerian Government to ensure that as a genuine scam victim, you will not only recover your lost money but also you will be compensated for the financial and emotional stress you and your family went through because of the scam.

Our Internal Audit Bureau has estimated that you are eligible to claim a total of $1,200,000.USD from the Fraud Compensation Committee set up by the
West African / Nigerian Government to ensure that properly identified scam victims are paid and adequately compensated from the $3bn allocated compensation loan from the World Bank.

This Fund is directly under the watchful eye of both the FBI/Interpol to avoid misappropriation or embezzlement of fund.

The known assets of the Fraudsters has since be confiscated and their Bank Accounts frozen. At the conclusion of our investigations, their assets will be used to pay back for the cost of compensation to their victims to the Fraud Compensation Committee.

Please contact the Office below to ensure that your details are confirmed as being eligible to receive your compensation within 72 hours of receiving this notice;

The FBI/Interpol Coalition on Fraud Investigations
35 Portman Square
London
W1H 6LR
United Kingdom.
Email: george-bawn@britishintelligence.co.uk
Officer Name:Mr George Bawn

All compensation request are attended to strictly on a first-come first-serve basis.

Regards,
Mr.Frank Heath
Public Relations Office

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This message was sent using IMP, the Internet Messaging Program.