I Hear You, Amy B
“I lost the weight in such a way that I now am worried I will not be able to get to goal and or keep the weight off.”
Your post today Feeling Like A Failure resonates in my head. I came within 12 pounds of my goal, when I took a break after my losses seemed to come to a stand still. I continued to get on the scale daily for a while, and even continued the way I was eating (for the most part) just to maintain.
When the colder weather came, I was unable to get the exercise in that I was used to. I also came to the realization that it was no longer summer, and my hair seemed to still be shedding. I had upped supplements which appeared to help, but when I took a real look at myself I realized my hair was the thinnest it had been in my entire life.
I felt some weight coming back on. I was getting ready to recommit to losing and promoting the diet. That is when I did my google search, and was lead back to LCF. The realization that my metabolism may have taken a hit made me take a giant step back. I couldn’t let myself think about a diet – as much as I still had a number to reach that I had burned into my head.
My biggest concern became seeing my hair get back to normal. I reluctantly let myself go. I was going to give in to urges for things I had deprived myself of for months. With the help of the gals and guys in the Fascination threads, I was scared into upping my fats, and really balancing my diet. I’m glad they did it.
Just now I ran my fingers through my hair, and not a strand was lost.
I have put on 28 pounds. My clothes are really tight, and some do not fit. I had tossed all the larger sizes last year for fear of gaining. I have been living in sweat pants since January. I tried to start to lose again a couple of times before, and found myself subconsciously looking for lean and low calorie foods. Old habits of what appeared to work are really hard to break.
What is worse, is there really is no maintenance. Even Jeannie has admitted to putting a few pounds back on. I had to stop myself.
It has been roughly eight months to get to this point. I began my weight loss journey again on March 18th. I’m taking it one day at a time, and I’m not getting on the scale two times a day like I used to. I’m not in a rush. There is no set end date. This time I’m taking it one day at a time.
I just ate a ham and cheese sandwich with mayonaise on an oopsie roll. I don’t know how many calories I just ate, and right now I don’t care. I am full. I am also wearing a pair of pants that did not fit seven days ago.
I will not do Kimkins, or any variation of it. I want to start a fitday, but I am not ready for that mentally. Seeing the amount of fat I’ve eaten this past week alone might trigger temptations to cut back.
I hope eight months has been long enough. Things seem to be going well for now. My biggest concern is looking out for unhealthy changes in my body – obvious things like hair loss.
I am not worried about getting to goal. The world will not end. Don’t get me wrong – I have a goal . I think people worry when they have a time set in their mind of when they need to get there. What is the worst thing that will happen if you don’t get to goal Amy? What if you come within 10 lbs of goal, and you are healthy and wearing one size larger then you originally pictured? Does it make you less of a mother? Will it make you not as good a friend? Will you not be able to experience the most important things in your life? I’m not bashing you. I under stand completely the feelings you are having – as I had them as well.
The feelings you are having are quite real. But just the way you trained your mind into Kimkins, you will have to take some time to un-train it. There is no rush to get to goal. Do what you must do to get your body healthy and stabilized first.
Do not beat yourself up. This thing takes time to overcome. Take your time, try not to worry, and just know you are far from alone.
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[...] Hear You, Amy B Mid-Month Crisis wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptI had upped supplements which [...]
[...] avenuegirl is very entertaining. Check out the latest and greatest post on I Hear You, Amy B. See below for a quick excerpt of the entertainment: [...]
[...] unknown wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptI began my weight loss journey again on March 18th. I’m taking it one day at a time, and I’m not getting on the scale two times a day like I used to. I’m not in a rush. There is no set end date. This time I’m taking it one day at a time … Read the rest of this great post here Author: Time: Monday, March 24th, 2008 at 11:30 am Category: Uncategorized Comments: You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. RSS: You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Navigation: « Beyond Apples and Celery Sticks [...]
Great post. Thank you for sharing thi. Some folk would consider your regain a disaster but adding a few scale pounds as you heal your body is what everybody who was harming their body following kimkins needs to do.
Not setting a date carved in stone as the will be at goal deadline is a great idea too.
Everyday you are eating healthy low carb is a day you are improving your body and getting smaller for spending wonderful quality time growing old together with your loved ones.
Thanks 2big. I was not happy about putting some back on – but my focus had to shift to getting healthy, and getting back to things acting “normal.” I did not have to gain back all the weight I lost to get there. I think that is important to know. I hope to do well, and I will be excited if I can restore faith in even one person who has stopped Kimkins that it is possible to fix the damage and finish what you initially set out to do. Like I said, so far so good and knock on wood too. I have not actually counted my daily calorie intake, but I am confident it is currently well over 1800 (I can eat cheese like it’s going out of style!). I checked after the first 3 days, and 3 lbs down. I know that will slow down, and I’m ok with it. I’ll check it again in a week, and if need be I’ll adjust, but nothing drastic.
I can really relate to what you’ve said here.
My hair has finally stopped falling out but it took months and I’m not seeing regrowth in many areas. I too gained quite a bit of my weight back and did so with the same attitude, that I needed to concentrate on healing my body first and foremost. Kimkins changed the way I view food and not in a good way. I stopped following KK as soon as I was banned but every little thing that I put in my mouth caused fear and was accompanied by a mental rundown of it’s fat, calorie, and carb content. I also had to give up the scale and force myself to change from the several times a day weighing while on KK to once a week, to once every two or so weeks. Seeing the weight gain has been difficult and I have had to make a conscious effort not to resort to old learned habits.
I’m just now to the point (6 months later) that I feel I can handle actually changing my woe without going to the extremes that KK called for.
My blog: Weighing The Facts
Avenuegirl, thanks for this post. I can identify so much with alot of what you wrote. I have gained 21 pounds since stopping kimkins. I too have been mostly wearing sweats because my clothes were all too tight and I had given my bigger ones away. I finally went and bought two pairs of jeans that fit, one black, one blue, so I could wear something besides sweats. But, like you, my hair isn’t falling out anymore, I can think clearly , and my muscles aren’t all aching at the same time. Keep up the good work.
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